Flawed Swiss Cheese Model Dropped for More Delicious Mozzarella One


swiss cheese model

SAN JOSE, CA – For years, the Swiss Cheese model has been used to explain bad outcomes in healthcare, stating that each layer of defense has flaws (ranging from individual mistakes to system errors) and undesired patient outcomes can result from an alignment of these flaws.

Leaders at San Jose Healthcare believe that the model itself is flawed, Swiss cheese isn’t that great, and a more delicious and solid cheese like mozzarella should be used in its place.  “During our Morbidity & Mortality conference, we realized that no one really likes Swiss cheese,” said Giovanni Formaggio, a spokesperson for San Jose Healthcare.

“But when mozzarella came up, we thought it was a solid choice, plus you can make a delicious pizza if you have some dough and tomato sauce lying around.”  At next month’s meeting, San Jose Healthcare leaders are planning to adopt a Blue Cheese model and order some buffalo wings afterwards.

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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