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WASHINGTON, DC – The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a novel fluoroquinolone, originally developed by Dutch company Stijf, will be marketed under trade name Priapic™ by Merck, Inc.

new fda pillCombination/hybrid drugs have been popular recently, with duloxetine (Cymbalta) being one of the most recognizable.  However, Priapic™ is the first antibiotic drug to be produced, approved and marketed to the public with indications for both treatment of bacterial infections and male impotence.

In phase II clinical trials, male subjects being treated with Mycoxaflopin for a variety of bacterial infections discovered that they had unpredictable and sustained erections.  Stijf was able to hone this serendipitous side effect by manipulating the drug molecule and thereby ensure a more dose-related response and predictable erectile effect.  Female subjects on Mycoxaflopin experienced no significant unintended effects, although the cohort did show a higher prevalence of headaches and decreased libido as compared to those on placebo.

Merck president of product development, Johan Essonmi, states: “Mycoxaflopin is an innovative medication that will not only combat common bacterial infections but also the worldwide phenomenon of male impotence.”

“We hope that instead of reaching for a Z-Pak for those pesky colds, primary care physicians will write for Priapic™ and kill two birds with one stone.  Patients and physicians alike will be happier.  A bird in the hand is worth two in the… bush?”

When queried about contributing to emerging bacterial resistance from needless and overprescribing of antibiotics, Essonmi shrugged and added, “Fictitious, like global warming.  Everyone talks about it but I think it’s way overblown.  Priapic™ is a potent antibiotic and potent impotence drug.  I am confident it will rise to any occasion, needless or not.”

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Frank Tenesmus
After a failed bid for public office in his home state of North Carolina, a young Frank journeyed to the Far East in attempt to find a new path. This led him to a Buddhist temple in Tibet where he achieved a state of Nirvana while rooming with Jake Ho in the Dormitory of Enlightenment. Emerging from this spiritual awakening and intense bonding experience with an adrenaline jockey, he too focused his sights on medical journalism. Upon returning to North Carolina, he enrolled in the University of Phoenix online journalism school while working the deep fryer at his local Bojangle's until graduating with highest honors. Frank is honored to be part of Gomerblog and share his passion for discovering the latest medical news, no matter how inconsequential. He is also looking for a real job.
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