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ATLANTA, GA – The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a shocking case report of a patient who rudely demanded that his physician issue medically-unnecessary controlled substance prescriptions.
demanding patientCDC lead investigator Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram announced, “This is a truly remarkable case report.  This patient presented to the doctor with a constellation of symptoms including 10-out-of-10 head-to-toe whole body pain, 12-out-of-10 hair pain, constant anxiety, and difficulty with attention span. He demanded narcotics, benzodiazepines & Adderall. And when the doctor declined to comply, this patient became verbally, and even physically, threatening.  In the annals of medical history, this is the first such case report.  Quite frankly, we’re shocked.”
Word of this medical anomaly swiftly spread across the country, and many wondered out loud if there perhaps could be other similar cases out there and that the pattern hasn’t yet been pieced together.
“What if other doctors and nurses are being verbally abused out there?” asked Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram.  “It’s possible.  We just need more health care workers to log onto our CDC website to file their reports.  This angry patient even attempted to threaten a poor satisfaction survey score to further cut the doctor’s pay, and then he brazenly declared his intent to sue the physician for ‘pain and suffering‘ inflicted on him due to the doctor’s sound medical judgment.”
CDC head honcho Tom Frieden added: “By the way, this national narcotic epidemic is totally the fault of the doctors.  100%.”

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Dr Pablo Pistola
Dr Pablo Pistola had become increasingly dissatisfied with satisfaction-based forces in medicine. He felt like a doctor without a purpose. He subsequently embarked on a 7 year twerking quest in the Himalayan foothills to find his true calling. During this journey, he realized that he has a secret talent: his immense knowledge about women. He understands them. Legend has it that he can size up a woman’s soul in a mere instant. He didn’t ask for these powers. But with great powers come great responsibilities. So Dr Pablo Pistola (double-board certified in Love Medicine & Romance Medicine, with fellowship training in Seduction Medicine) has been dabbling in satirical erotic writing. And if satirical erotic writing can offer a viable exit strategy from medicine, then the world will be a better place. His responsibility is to bring the stories of lust to you. He also is an avid life-long Miami Heat fan. Follow him on twitter at @drpablopistola
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