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doctor on computer, co-signaturesSo there you are, reading your resident’s notes and you have to write the co-signatures.  I know what you’re thinking: it’s so BORING!  It’s usually some variation of “I performed a history and physical exam of the patient and discussed with the resident.  I reviewed the resident’s note and agree with the documented findings and plan of care.”  Did you fall asleep yet?  I know I did!

Instead try this.  Here are some alternative co-signatures to add some much needed spice to an otherwise bland document:

“I performed a song and dance for the patient and I planned this routine with the resident.  I reviewed his note and agree with his song choice for both tonight and tomorrow’s number.”

“LOL.”

“I was present with the resident during the history and exam and boy was it titillating!  I would highly recommend it to my other colleagues and in fact after I document this note I’m gonna go back and be present once again.”

“The sun had just set and the moon was starting to open its eyes.  Hush.  I can hear the lullabies of the waves as I relive those most wondrous times at the bedside with my resident.  The nimble note, the delicious documentation, how can one not agree when life is lovely albeit short?”

“I was not present with the resident because Game of Thrones was on.  Sometimes you have to make a decision: patient care, Game of Thrones.  I chose Game of Thrones.”

“Whatevs.”

“See resident’s note for details.  Unless he didn’t do it.  Did he not do it?  The bastard.  He’s so lazy.  I mean it’s 11 PM, how can the note not be in?  We rounded on the patient at bedside at like noon.  Uggggghhhhh.  FML.”

“Once upon a time, in beautiful castle called Outside Hospital, there was a resident who performed a history and physical on this evil, bad, no good patient.  ‘Why, what big lies you tell!’ documented the resident, with whom the attending agreed, along with the rest of the assessment and plan…”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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