Computer Resuscitated After 6 Rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del

"The screen's gone blue, call a code!!!!"

NASHVILLE, TN – Gomerblog is happy to report that a code team at Nashville Medical Center (NMC) has successfully resuscitated an old nurses station computer after 6 rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del.

Ctrl+Alt+Del
“The screen’s gone blue, call a code!!!!”

“The computer became so slow that it was bradying down, but it’s fans were labored and it was hyperthermic,” explained charge nurse Felicia White.  “The pointer turned into an hourglass, so that’s when instinct kicked in and I just started smashing random buttons and hitting it.”  White admits the next several moments were tense and passed by in a blur.  “The next thing I know I called a Code Blue because I got the Blue Screen of Death.  That’s why it’s called a Code Blue, right?”

Within moments, a multidisciplinary team made of up nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, pharmacy, and information technology (IT) responded.  For those unaware, IT is serving an increasingly prominent role in code teams across the country as the nation’s computers age and fall increasingly ill.  In fact, a poll in March 2016 found that more Code Blues are called for computers than patients.

Monell Jackson of IT led the resuscitation efforts, calling for hard drive compressions, rescue breaths administered through a USB port, and several rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del.  After the sixth round of Ctrl+Alt+Del, the computer regained spontaneous return of the home screen with stable keyboard strokes and mouse movements.  The computer remains in critical condition and has been moved to the intensive care unit (ICU) for further monitoring.

“This computer is very fortunate,” explained a relieved Jackson.  “Sure, we had a witnessed Code Blue Screen of Death, but it took six rounds of Ctrl+Alt+Del to get the computer back.  Mortality is close to 100% when you get to the third round.”  Jackson hopes the computer recovers, but says it would be wise to get Palliative Care on board, even if only to back-up any important files.

In other news, hospital administration wishes the computer a speedy recovery since it continues to decline requests to get new ones.

First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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