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pina coladas
“Did someone say pina coladas?! Yippee!!”

SANTA MONICA, CA – In a stunning development that has taken place just over the past few minutes, Gomerblog has learned that Ortho likes pina coladas.  “Yes, I like pina coladas,” orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley explained, speaking on behalf of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons, American Orthopaedic Association, and orthopods everywhere.  “And getting caught in the rain.”  His voice was trembling, realizing the weight of his words.  “I’m not much into health food,” he said before looking directly into the audience of shocked observers and continuing.  “I am into champagne.”  Hammersley paused, allowing all this information to be processed by millions of stunned health care practitioners.  “Thank you.  Go bones.”  Hammersley declined taking questions and rushed off to enjoy the feel of the ocean.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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