Kentucky Derby, Tired of His Pathetic 2 Minute Performance, Busted for Viagra Use

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Louisville, KY—Weary of being referred to as “the most exciting 2 minutes in sports,” the Kentucky Derby was busted this week for attempting to use Viagra to enhance performance. Officials at the Derby grew suspicious at the 30 minute mark when all the horses were still going strong. After 4 hours on the soggy track, they needed to seek medical attention.

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Looks like the Twin Spires aren’t the only things erect at Churchill Downs today!

“I’ve seen a lot of horses limping across that finish line,” Hall of Fame Jockey Pat Day tells Gomerblog, “and this was completely different. Those horses could have been ridden all night long!”


This year’s Derby sponsor, KY Jelly, denies any involvement in providing performance enhancing drugs. “We cannot support or condone the actions of the Derby to prolong performance. As always, we were hoping for a smooth, uninterrupted run.”

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