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Thai soccer team AMA
Moments before they left AMA

CHIANG RAI, THAILAND – The world rejoiced when a brave team of cave divers rescued 12 boys and their soccer coach from the Tham Luang Cave.  Unfortunately Gomerblog has learned the 12 boys and coach have left Chiangrai Prachanukroh Hospital AMA (against medical advice) and are once again stuck in the flood-prone cave.

“It is not uncommon for people rescued from caves to go through alternating cycles of recovery and relapse,” said Thai cave specialist Dr. Evelyn Grotto.  “Despite all the advances we have made in medicine, we have no equivalent of a nicotine patch for those who go through cave-exploration withdrawal.  We can’t keep them here indefinitely, and we can’t keep them from going back into caves.  They know it all.  It’s for this exact reason we need more funding, research into this tragic condition, so we can improve the available treatment options.”

Each of the 13 members of the Wild Boars soccer team understood the risks and benefits of both leaving the hospital AMA and entering back into those dark, dank caves.  All 13 were deemed to have decision-making capacity.

The families of the boys and coach as well as the cave diver team are saddened by the news.

“All the 13 Wild Boars are now back into the cave,” posted the Thai Navy SEALS on their Facebook page.

The Wild Boars, however, want to reassure everyone that they will be just fine.

“We have hoarded enough turkey sandwiches from the doctors and nurses to ensure we can survive for another three weeks,” said the Wild Boars soccer coach Ekkapol Chantawong, who is also stealing several extra blankets for good measure.  “We also pilfered a nurse call light and have the overnight intern’s pager number, so I think we’re gonna be just fine.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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