ASA Admits NPO Guidelines are Entirely Arbitrary
San Diego, CA- In a move that shocked surgeons and anesthesiologists alike, the American Society of Anesthesia announced today that their NPO guidelines are completely baseless.
Ask a Drug Seeker
Dear Drug Seeker,
I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good idea?
- Nervous in Nashville
Dear Nervous,
In order to score some strong...
Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ
ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on the fence about restarting a patient’s 12.5 mg dose of...
Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame.
“Man, before it was so easy to yell at anesthesia for the...
Bored Anesthesiologist Randomly Intubating Patients on Floor
HOUSTON, TX - Finding it to be a particularly slow day in the operating room today, bored anesthesiologist Lee Maxwell has been spotted running around Houston Medical Center, intubating med/surg patients on the floor at random.
Nurses were puzzled when they...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...
Breaking: Anesthesia Celebrating That Ambien Can Be Blamed for Everything Now
BREAKING - Anesthesiologists and CRNAs across the globe are celebrating today as the baton of blame has been passed onto Ambien for absolutely anything and everything that can go wrong in the hospital or...
COVID-19: U.S. Surgeon General Caught Hoarding All of Nation’s Masks
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Just two weeks after he wisely tweeted "Serious people- STOP BUYING MASKS!" in an effort to prevent a shortage of masks for health care professionals on the front line...
Anesthesia Makes Surgical Recommendations
In a world flip-turned upside down, anesthesia has had enough and is making recommendations on how to do surgery.
During a hernia surgery: “Oh, you’re using a 3-0 Vicryl and 4-0 Monocryl to close? I’d...
In Cruel Prank, Surgeon Steals All of Anesthesia’s Drapes
SCHAUMBURG, IL - The American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has called a rare emergency meeting earlier today after one of its most highly-recognized members, Ryan Grossman, fell victim to an incredibly cruel prank: a...
