Thursday, April 18, 2024

Anesthesiology

couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

132
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the adrenaline going.  Speed home.  Once there, run upstairs and cut...
food

Texas Execution Delayed Due to Inmate’s NPO Status

8
DALLAS, TX – For the third time this week a Texas execution was canceled due to the prison inmate #474901’s NPO status.  "Someone’s got to get their act together over there as this is the...
IV catheter

Anesthesiologist Ecstatic to Get 2 AM Call to Place IV, and Again at 3...

9
MEMPHIS, TN - Dr. Beverly Mascinoni, the on-call anesthesiologist last night, was ecstatic to get a call at 2 AM to place an IV.  When her pager went off, the first thing that popped...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

57
BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging to male patients on January 18, 2015 were inflated significantly...
Surgery

Anesthesiologists Compare Arm Tans While Surgeon Repairs Penetrating Aortic Injury

38
ATLANTA, GA – As local trauma surgeon Dr. Andre Mackersie desperately tried to gain control of a massively exsanguinating abdominal aortic gunshot wound, the anesthesiologists on the other side of the sterile drape were...
anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesia Resident Falls Asleep During Case, Reprimanded For Missing Lunch Break

40
CHICAGO, IL - Chaos ensued at a Chicago hospital last week when an anesthesia resident was missing from the surgical lounge.  Around 10 a.m., a surgery resident noticed that the surgery lounge, which is...
surgery

Surgeon Performs Appendectomy, Still Trying to Convince OR Staff That It Was Infected

4
KNOXVILLE, TN – General surgeon Dr. Hendrick Knightsville is being credited with quite an acting performance in operating room 7.  Dr. Knightsville took a 24-year-old patient to surgery for suspected appendicitis. During the appendectomy it was...
anesthesia patient

National Security of Anesthesiologists Releases New Cell Phone Disabling Device

0
RESTON, VA - The National Security of Anesthesiologists (NSA), in response to a jury awarding a patient $500,000 after an anesthesiologist was caught on tape trashing them while under sedation for a colonoscopy, has...

Spare Anesthesia Machine Makes Slushies

4
SANTE FE, NM - Dr. Brad Jacks suspected it for months.  Anesthesia personnel would leave for a break in the middle of a quick ear tubes procedure and come back to the OR room fifteen...
new medical app

Surgeon Time Finally Debunked with New App

49
"How much longer?" anesthesia will ask.  "Only about an hour or so," a typical surgeon might answer.  Then anesthesia is forced to ask themselves, "Does that mean 2 hours?  Maybe longer?  Maybe shorter?  Are...