Radiologist Clocks Sub 4-Second 40-Yard Time During a Code Blue
ATLANTA, GA - A new record was achieved yesterday afternoon as Dr. Ken Willingham, a radiologist at Gotta Have Faith Hospital, clocked a 3.98 second 40-yard dash time. Dr. Willingham was performing an ultrasound-guided fine...
MMA Fighter Ronda Rousey Hired to Confront Difficult Patients
SANTA MONICA, CA - The world’s number one pound-for-pound female mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter and current reigning Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women’s Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey was recently hired by a local hospital...
Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide kits to be stocked in the Emergency Department Pyxis machine.
Each kit contains...
Internal Medicine Resident Ecstatic About Upcoming Emergency Department Rotation
STONY BROOK, NY – Internal medicine (IM) resident Dr. Thinksalot was delighted to learn that his emergency department rotation was coming up. "When I think of all the time I spend actually talking to...
15 Ways to Confuse, Demoralize, and Frustrate Your Emergency Physician
When you are a patient in a busy ED, getting your doctor’s best effort in caring for you can be difficult. Most ED physicians only have a couple of minutes to obtain their history...
Patient with High Pain Tolerance, Surprisingly… In Pain
LANCASTER, IL – Local resident, Shirley Homes, came to St. Joe’s Emergency Room with a shocking complaint: she was in pain. This emergency pain occurring to Ms. Homes has been reoccurring for the past...
Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much
BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine elucidated the seemingly perfect linear relationship with Dilaudid administration and...
Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a local emergency room (ER). Not only this, but despite its...
Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections. For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...
Medical Student in Library Mistaken for Homeless Man
WORCESTER, MA – Local medical student Jeremy Wynn was escorted out of his medical school library this Saturday by police with the official police reports stating that he was "mistakenly thought to be a homeless man."
Jeremy was...
