Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager
You and your pager have likely formed a long and memorable relationship together while sitting on your hip. Over time the initial lust may wear off. Here are 10 signs that it may be...
Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations
BURBANK, CA - Just on the heels of an amazing comeback, the Disney Channel has now stopped patient care operations in the backyard playhouse clinic of Dottie “Doc” McStuffins after a Joint Commission audit revealed myriad...
Controversy Over Surgery Department’s ‘Most Annoying Medical Student’ Award
DALLAS, TX - Dr. Greg Peterson, a chief resident in general surgery, has seen his share of medical students rotate through the surgery service. "They just keep getting worse," said an unenthused Peterson before...
Declining Lipitor Sales Prompt Revision of Cholesterol Guidelines Yet Again
CHICAGO, IL - In response to an unexpected 3 percent reduction in both Lipitor and Crestor sales, the American Cardiac Association (ACA) and American College of Cardiologic Heart Physicians (ACCHP) have established the 4th...
Physician Signs Out Patient Census and Pager, Has Slight Orgasm
ORLANDO, FL - After having one of the toughest weeks in her professional career as a hospitalist during which she had a census of no fewer than 20 patients each day due to the...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of pain medication.
"I always thought having more pain than you could...
Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape
AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical Center yesterday afternoon. In this chilling transcript below, a heroic...
Poll: Why Are Neurologists Consulted?
We polled thousands of neurologists across the world to get down to the bottom of why they are consulted. Here are the top 9 reasons that bring neurologists into the picture. A historical note:...
EMS Now Being Dispatched to Transport Satisfaction Surveys
HUNTERSVILLE, NC - Last week, emergency medical crews accepted a new challenge in this suburban North Carolina community. At the behest of health care administrators who decided that patient satisfaction data collection is "the...
Three-Sentence Discharge Summary For Six-Month Hospitalization
ROME, GA - Doctors and hospital administrators are lauding what has been called a "breakthrough in succinctness," as a patient discharged after six months in the hospital presented to his primary care provider with a...
