Friday, March 29, 2024

Hospital Administration

Hospital Administrator Granted Workman’s Compensation For Paper Cut Injury

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BOCA RATON, FLORIDA -- After a landmark decision by the board of trustees, Madre De Díos Hospital administrator Chlöe Less was granted a lucrative workman's compensation package for a 0.5 mm paper cut injury...
kudos dog

Not Surprising at All: Hospital Administrator Has Dog Named Kudos

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Tulane Medical Center hospital administrator Luke Moneybags confirmed with Gomerblog this morning that, yes, he indeed has a dog and his name, as we all expected, is Kudos.  This is...

ER Refuses to End Hospital Shutdown Until IM Agrees to Admit All Drunks

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – Tulane Medical Center has shut down the hospital after negotiations between the Emergency Room (ER) and Internal Medicine (IM) failed to reach an agreement on admission criteria before midnight. The core...
winter outdoor unit

Hospital Opens New Outdoor Wintertime Med-Surg Unit

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - This winter season has been historically busy with influenza A wreaking havoc on health care systems, which are filled to the gills with the sickest of the sick from coast to...
kudos

Administrator Bestows Upon Nurse the Highest Honor in the Land: Kudos

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HOUSTON, TX - On his mighty steed, hospital administrator Sir Chaz Moneybags galloped onto the med-surg unit at Ben Taub Hospital and in front of the legions present in their humble white coats and scrubs...
Hurrican JCAHO

Breaking: Hurricane JCAHO to Obliterate All Open Beverage Containers in Its Path

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CAPE VERDE - The National Hurricane Center has detected the most powerful hurricane just yet.  Named Hurricane JCAHO, the projected Category 5 Cape Verde hurricane is expected to make landfall at American health care facilities this...
bellies

Doctors Mandated to Rub Patients’ Bellies to Improve Patient Satisfaction Scores

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PENSACOLA, FL - In an effort to bolster patient satisfaction scores, doctors at Sacred Heart Health System have been mandated to rub patients' bellies, say "Good patient, good patient!!" and give them a treat, according...
"Mostly useless!" credentialing process

Transfer Records Lacking Hundreds of Useless Pages

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – Dr. Rajiv Katar, a physician at Philadelphia General Hospital, was astonished on Friday to receive transfer records that included a discharge summary – and only that – lacking the usual several-hundred-page...
joint commission

The Night Before Joint Commission

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‘Twas the night before Joint Commission, when all thro’ the ER Not a beverage was open not, even a beer; The EMRs were all filled with useless notes on nursing care, In fear that...