In Drastic Cost-Cutting Measure, Local Hospital Restricts Use of Albumin in Landscaping
To help meet financial goals for the upcoming fiscal year, University Hospital administrators voted to implement draconian restriction criteria for the use of albumin...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
PyeongChang Update: Shirtless Tongan Hospitalized with Hypothermia
PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA - Sadly, we knew it was bound to happen: Tongan athlete Pita Taufatofua, also known as the Shirtless Tongan, has just...
Assassin’s Creed: MICU
Ubisoft has done it again! It is time for the next installment in the epic Assassin’s Creed franchise. Gamers have enjoyed playing master assassins...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr....
It’s All Good: Avocado Toast More Effective Than Steroids in the Treatment of Septic...
NEW YORK, NY - The most important publication since the release of the Sepsis-3 guidelines, a multi-center trial led by a team of physicians...
Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
Attending Known for Long ICU Rounds Admits She is Actually Just Filibustering Her Crappy...
At the Pannus University Hospital, there is one specific attending, who preferred to remain anonymous for this article, known for exquisitely long rounds. Every...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a...