Critical Care

ICUs Convert to Starbuck Sizes for Fluid Management

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In an effort to stay current with a younger generation of doctors and nurses, the American Association of Critical Care Medicine (AACCM) has altered...

RT Delivers 5 Peeps via ET Tube in Easter Day Tragedy at St. Luke’s

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Distracted by his excitement for the Easter holiday, Jim Carina, Respiratory Therapist at St. Luke’s Medical Center, gave 5 Peeps via ET tube to...
septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit...
dyspnea

FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb!

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only...
nipple twist above-the-nipples

Study: Titty Twist Better Pain Stimulus Than Sternal Rub

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Citing expert opinion and personal experience, the American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has put forth new recommendations on the pain stimulus...
endotracheal tube cough suppressant

Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube

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BOSTON, MA - Cough drops for a cough?  Not so fast.  An illuminating new multicenter, randomized-controlled, quintuple-blinded study in the New England Journal of...
McFarction

Breaking: Ronald McDonald Suffers ST-Elevation McFarction

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OAK BROOK, IL - Beloved clown mascot Ronald McDonald has suffered another heart attack this morning, and was taken to Oak Brook Medical Center...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

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BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At...
Floyd Weather intubated

Floyd Mayweather Intubated After Aspirating $300 Million in Revenue

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Less than 24 hours after extending his record to an incredible 50-0 after defeating MMA fighter Conor McGregor, Floyd "Money"...