Friday, April 19, 2024

Critical Care

icu vs ER

ICU Team Happy to Have ER Resident Rotating in ICU

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HOUSTON, TX - The ICU team at Sarcasm General expressed unlimited joy when they learned that the hotshot ER residents would start rotating with them this month. "We are so glad to have these pretentious...
surgeons

American College of Surgeons to Publish New “Because I Said So” or BISS-Based Medicine...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A press release today from the American College of Surgeons stated, “After years of putting up with the satanic nonsense known as evidence-based medicine, the surgeons of the world are in...
RT coffee

Amazing Respiratory Therapist Performs ABG with One Hand, Drinks Coffee with Other

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ATLANTA, GA - In a dazzling display of true skill, Georgia Medical Center respiratory therapist (RT) Chris Gilbert not only managed to obtain an ABG from a difficult stick and critically-ill ICU patient this...
pulmonary fellow

Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum

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ATLANTA, GA - “Well, this is very embarrassing,” explained pulmonary & critical care fellow Eric Jennings to his colleagues on morning rounds, as he scratched his head.  “I guess I was tired.”  Jennings’ team...
patient restraints

Study: Physical & Chemical Restraints Can Effectively Supplement Lack of Self Restraint

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CHICAGO, IL - A five patient case series out of Northwestern University recently evaluated the utility of using physical and/or chemical restraints to supplement patients that have self-restraint deficits.  Utilizing the Saratoga Self-Restraint Scale,...
radiologist running

Radiologist Clocks Sub 4-Second 40-Yard Time During a Code Blue

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ATLANTA, GA - A new record was achieved yesterday afternoon as Dr. Ken Willingham, a radiologist at Gotta Have Faith Hospital, clocked a 3.98 second 40-yard dash time.  Dr. Willingham was performing an ultrasound-guided fine...
physician

ICU Physician Unveils New Self-Extubation Order Set

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AUGUSTA, ME - An ICU physician in Augusta, Maine is now using a self-extubation order set.  “It is a beautiful concept, really,” gushes ICU physician and order set creator Teresa Elder.  She elaborates, “I’m...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

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DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals nationwide. Protamine comes from the sperm of salmon.  At the largest...
micu

Assassin’s Creed: MICU

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Ubisoft has done it again!  It is time for the next installment in the epic Assassin’s Creed franchise.  Gamers have enjoyed playing master assassins across various periods of time from Italy to the Caribbean,...
stethoscope

Anatomy of a Contact Precaution Stethoscope

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We all love those contact precaution fancy expensive stethoscopes.  We always wondered why patients on contact precautions never had murmurs discovered.  Here at GomerBlog we dissected the components to figure out why we couldn't...