Thursday, March 28, 2024

Pain Medicine

demanding patient

The Curious Case of a Patient Demanding a Controlled-Substance Prescription

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ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control (CDC) released a shocking case report of a patient who rudely demanded that his physician issue medically-unnecessary controlled substance prescriptions. CDC lead investigator Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram announced, "This...
confident physician

E.R. Doctors To Druggies: “Get More Creative!”

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A national conference of Emergency Medicine doctors has created a list of suggestions for ER regulars who come in for Dilaudid and other euphoria-producing drugs. The list is meant to help make interactions between...

Ask a Drug Seeker

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Dear Drug Seeker, I’m really concerned about the Zika virus and the Summer Olympics going on as scheduled. Do you think this is a good idea? - Nervous in Nashville Dear Nervous, In order to score some strong...

Local ER Offering Pain Meds Freebased, or Heated on a Spoon and Injected

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NORFOLK, VA – Local ER is now offering patients the option of their pain medication freebased or heated on a spoon and injected.  “We already start IVs and give narcotics for 10/10 pain, then...
African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

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MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative Mixed-Connective Tissue Disorder" (MNMCTD). Baruti Bakone spends most of his days...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Doctors, Nurses in Disbelief as Even Infants Are Drug-Seeking

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ATLANTA, GA - Well, folks, now we’ve seen it all.  GomerBlog is sad to break the unfortunate news that the world is descending into total darkness and evil, as doctors and nurses at Atlanta...
pharmacist

A Pharmacist’s Nightmare: A Drug Seeker & Their Excuses

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We all know that pharmacists and pharmacy technicians are on the front lines when it comes to drug-seeking patients. Somehow they can hold it together after a long day of being yelled at by...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...