Thursday, March 28, 2024

Nursing

Tufts Nurses Go On Strike, New Interns Forced To Be Nurses

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BOSTON, MA – Due to the recent nursing strike at Tufts Medical Center, the hospital is now forcing its new interns to also be nurses.  The interns have been on the job for a little...
er nurse

ER Nurses Holding Unplaced Inpatients Cheer Whenever ‘Code Blue’ Called Overhead

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ZIP CITY, AL - After a record breaking week of admissions via the ER and an increase in scheduled outpatient procedures, St. Bertram Hospital in Zip City, Alabama has been bursting at the seams, with...

Diagnostic Criteria for a ‘Train Wreck’ Patient

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How does one identify a train wreck?  GomerBlog polled 1,000,000 health care providers in the last 48 hours and the general consensus is that, of the following, 1 MAJOR plus 2 MINOR criteria are...
septic colonized keyboard

Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit 4A of Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) has become septic,...

Doctor Wins Lottery: Patient List Free of Jerks, A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine physician Damien Sharp won the medical equivalent of a lottery jackpot today: his patient list is completely devoid of jerks and a**holes, a rare occurrence with an estimated...
angry patient

Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...

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Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on this during medical or nursing school.  At times, dealing with...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts, instincts, and motivations, and promises to do so with superior...

Breaking News: Doctor Cycles Blood Pressure Cuff By Himself

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JANESVILLE, MI - In an unprecedented occurrence Dr. Fern noticed the absence of a morning blood pressure.  Starting to walk out of the room to look for the nurse, he had an epiphany: "If...

BREAKING: Figs Scrubs made DNR by Female DO Hospitalist

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Los Angeles, CA – After gradually wedging their way into the hearts and minds of healthcare professionals across the US and the world, Figs has been made DNR. The brand known for their...
upset patient

Repeatedly Yelling “NURSE!!!” Less Effective Than Using Call Bell, Study Finds

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A new study published in The Lancet shows that using the call bell to get your nurse’s attention is 25% more effective than repeatedly yelling “NURSE!!!” over and over again.  Many health care advocacy...