Drug Prices Outta Control: Man Spends 3 Months’ Salary on Vaginal Contraceptive Ring for...
INTERCOURSE, PA—The great Beyoncé once never said, “If you didn’t want it, you shoulda put a ring in it.” As everyone surely doesn’t remember, the first “it” refers to a baby, the “ring” is...
Medical School to Replace Pharmacology Course with Coloring Books
In a school-wide email to faculty and students, Dean Giles announced the introduction of a new course replacing existing pharmacology classes.
Stating that patients are much more likely to describe the color and shape of...
Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine. Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a cracked top, and even "laughs on the inside" according to...
Night Float Intern Boldly Chooses Non-Vanc/Zosyn Empiric Antibiotic Regimen
DALLAS, TX - Night calls can be a scary thing for new interns. Everything from blood pressures of 170/80 and sleeping pill requests in demented patients, to requests to remove contact precautions and all...
I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to treat patients with nutritional deficiencies, are not made with bananas...
Doctorate of Pharmacy Programs to Add CVS, Walgreens Rewards Card Education Requirement
WASHINGTON, DC - As a result of successful congressional lobbying efforts by the “big corner drug store” lobby, doctorate of pharmacy programs nationwide will begin requiring students to be proficient in knowledge regarding rewards...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found herself stuck on the second syllable. Thanks to her nurse...
African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative Mixed-Connective Tissue Disorder" (MNMCTD).
Baruti Bakone spends most of his days...
Pharmacy No Longer Accepting Scripts Written in Crayon, Dr. Muppet: ‘Me Angry!’
ORLANDO, FL – The outpatient pharmacy at Orlando Regional Medical Center (ORMC) has issued a hospital-wide memo Monday that they will stop accepting prescription scripts written in crayon. Head pharmacist and author of the...
