Thursday, March 28, 2024

Damn It! All U.S. COVID-19 Samples Coming Back Hemolyzed

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ATLANTA, GA - Just when there was a glimmer of hope that we might finally make some progress with the diagnostic testing of patients suspected of having COVID-19, another annoying hiccup just...

Tips: Is It Allergies or COVID-19?

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With coronavirus (COVID-19) season starting up and allergy season fresh upon us, we wanted to give you some tips on how to tell the difference. Are your eyes itchy?

COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive

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BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients who tested positive for coronavirus said the phrase...

Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19

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HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously contagious novel coronavirus here on Earth: Heaven &...

COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available, and its final step actually states "in settings...

COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump is expected to approve a new bill sent from Congress that will provide every American citizen 1,000 pills of Xanax (alprazolam) per month. It...
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Habit, I Guess: OB/GYNs Accidentally Swabbing Vaginas for COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The novel coronavirus hasn't even peaked and emergency room personnel are already overwhelmed. In an act of goodwill, everyone is pitching in, including area OB-GYNs. Unfortunately, they're...

CDC Issues Strong Recommendation to “Lick a Stranger” to Combat COVID-19

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers’ for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued an unprecedented late-breaking public announcement on the novel COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak:   COVID-19 is a respiratory disease, with illnesses...

Scrubs: ‘How Disease Spreads’ (Must Watch!)

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This clip shows a classic example of hospital infections and how they can spread, from the greatest medical show of all-time. Wash them hands and social distancing is key!

Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns

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INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION - Due to justified concerns about their own immune systems, an alien race has decided to postpone their plans for a hostile takeover of planet Earth until the novel...