Thursday, March 28, 2024

Surgery

toliet flushing medications

So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next

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You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet.  Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you hear that distinctive splash into the muddy waters below: your...
ninja in er

Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise

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“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there.  It is a new year and with a new year there are...
surgery not indicated

Surgeons Declare “Surgery Not Indicated in 2017”

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CHICAGO, IL - Close the operating rooms!  Surgeons worldwide have declared that "surgery is not indicated in 2017," instead calling this upcoming year "the year of conservative management."  This announcement comes after widespread concerns...
acl knee

Orthopedic Surgeon Arrested for Using Duct Tape to Repair ACLs

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PORTSMOUTH, NH - An 8-year investigation ended with a shocking revelation and arrest out of New Hampshire today as orthopedic surgeon Dr. Terrance Ancef-Bonecutt was caught using Duct Tape to repair patients' anterior cruciate...

Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the show for 5 years.  Recent evidence suggests that the likely...
notes rounding

Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management

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WASHINGTON, DC - In breaking news, Gomerblog has received word today that the Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy has consulted the Hospitalist General of the United States Amanda Jackson for medical...

NSFW: Uncensored Celeb Pics Never Seen Before

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1. Kim Kardashian - What is left when the internet has seen every inch of her? How about her placenta? Technically not part of her anymore but still S-E-X-Y.  Damn, look at that heart...

Friday ‘Dump Job’ Ends Back on Hospitalist

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PORTLAND, MA – Hospitalist Dr. Doug Moore was trying to plan ahead for his upcoming weekend.  He knew he had to take Ms. Williams off his list to have a completely free weekend.  Dr. Moore tried...

New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely

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BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday regarding a newly-developed surgical technique for weight loss that bypasses...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the east coast after a recent FDA approval.  Typically when a...