Surgery

trauma knife

Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants...

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WASHINGTON, DC - A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear...

Poll Reveals Most Attending Surgeons Secretly Jealous About 80-Hour Work Week

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EGAN, ND - A poll of practicing surgeons at the recent Society of Magnificent Surgeons meeting revealed that 92% of those polled were secretly...

Local Hospital Pleased to Offer Natural Surgery

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VASHON ISLAND, WA - A growing number of Americans are attracted to natural and alternative remedies, whether it be Echinacea for colds, shark cartilage for chemotherapy,...
Scrubs

Body Image Issues Linked to Color-Coded Hospital Scrubs Size

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PALO ALTO, CA - Scrubs are fairly shapeless.  If you can discern shapes, the wearer is likely pregnant or wearing the wrong size.  The ultimate...
hospital ceo salary

Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction...

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CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other...
anesthesiologist table height

Anesthesiologist Cancels Case After Hearing Patient is ‘Gassy’

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CHARLOTTE, NC - OR 4 at Mercy Hospital was moving “ahead of schedule” according to charge nurse Diane Cingler.  “Turns out we are getting...

ED Consults Pathology on Acute Abdomen Just to “Make Them Aware”

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SANTE FE, NM - Emergency Medicine attending physician, Dr. Edith Lin, believes in a proactive and multidisciplinary approach to patient management.  When a 46-year-old woman...
Medicine consult

Medicine Consult on the Fence About Restarting HCTZ

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ATLANTA, GA - The tension is mounting on the surgical ward at Emory University Hospital as Dr. Christopher Roberts of Hospital Medicine remains on...

Newly Promoted General Surgeon’s Business Cards, A Little Too True

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LOS ANGELES, CA – UCLA’s newly promoted general surgeon, Assistant Professor William Heffner, just received his updated business cards today.  An unfortunate error in...