Friday, March 29, 2024

Urology

transurethral resection of the colon

Urologist Performs World’s First Successful Transurethral Resection of the Colon

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CLEVELAND, OH - Renowned Cleveland Clinic urologist Dr. Jebron Lames has made history today by performing the world's first successful transurethral resection of the colon (TURC).  The best part?  It was totally an accident. "I'm...

Miracle on the Hudson: NYC Nurse Lands Foley in 600-Pound Female Patient

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HUDSON VALLEY, NY - A miracle occurred on Saturday as Cathy Meyers, night shift RN at Hudson Valley Hospital, found herself staring at the wavering end of a fully-inflated Foley catheter. The catheter once...

Urologists: ‘Balls on Back of Trucks Correlates with Tiny Driver Testicle Size’

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LEXINGTON, OH - Plastic balls in a plastic scrotum hanging off the back of a pickup truck have been an extremely-common sight in and around this rural Ohio town for decades. The presumption amongst most...
human organs

AMA Announces List of the Top 6 Useless Organs

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The Human body is a marvelous biologic machine, adapted to sustain homeostasis in a wide variety of environments. A spectacular coalescence of multiple organs highly evolved to sustain life.... for the most part. Some...
dick prick urologist urology

Breaking News: Local Urologist is a Giant Dick

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NASHVILLE, TN - After examining thousands upon thousands of male genitalia, area urologist Richard Ball-Sax has been called by patients, colleagues, friends, and family for the person he has now become: a giant, throbbing dick. "It...
Navy all hands on dick

Emergency: Navy Urologist Calls Out ‘All Hands on Dick!’

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NORFOLK, VA - Realizing that this simple procedure was taking a turn for the worst and giving him more than he can handle, Navy urologist Richard Dix-Johnson called out "All hands on dick!  All hands on...

Local Jeweler Proposes with 4-Karat Kidney Stone Ring

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COLUMBUS, OH - On a recent romantic trip to the yellow river in Asia, world-renowned jeweler Rocky Ureter of Columbus, Ohio popped the question to his longtime girlfriend, Sandy Britches.  The couple had been dating for 5...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

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NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan has introduced a new line of bulletproof condoms that not...
bladder trial voiding

Breaking: Urinary Bladder Placed on Trial for Voiding

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ATLANTA, GA - "This voiding trial has begun!" Judge Emerson Rhodes III told a full-capacity, overly-distended courtroom in downtown Atlanta as he called order with his gavel at 8:45 AM this morning. In what is...

Urologists Nationwide Recommend ChapPrick for Dry Dicks

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LINTHICUM, MD - With a recent flare in the number of cases of males suffering from penile dryness this fall, the American Urological Association (AUA) officially endorses the use of the Pfizer-brand schlong balm...