Thursday, April 25, 2024

Urology

new fda pill

FDA Approves First Antibiotic/Male Impotence Drug: Mycoxaflopin

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Federal Drug Administration has recently approved the first medication that will combat both bacterial infections and male impotence.  Mycoxaflopin, a novel fluoroquinolone, originally developed by Dutch company Stijf, will be...
male patient asking for urinal

Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal

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ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked him to empty his own urinal.  The 50-year-old Stern was...
old man

Pioneering Bionics Company Gains FDA Approval for Robotic Penis

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E-Rextion Bionix has proudly announced that its breakthrough HeteroErectus Cyberpenis enhancement prosthesis will soon be available to patients in the U.S. market who so desperately seek a solid and trustworthy erection without having to...
foley catheter

Clumsy Intern Keeps Tripping Over Patients’ Foley Catheters

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BOULDER, CO - Patients, nurses, and urologists at Boulder Medical Center are starting to lose patience with intern Willie Johnson, who despite being incredibly nice and very bright, just always seems to be tripping...
urine sample

Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or...

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BOCA RATON, FL - The hospital staff at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Ratón Community Hospital have spent the last four hours debating whether the unidentified liquid left in a cup at the central nursing station...
measuring tape

New Study Demonstrates Average Penis Size to be 5.4 Inches

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BOSTON, MA - A new study conducted by the National Urological Association enrolled over 25,000 males of all races to measure flaccid and erect penis sizes.  Their results concluded the average erect penis size to...
vasectomy alternative

The Vas-Band: Vasectomies No More

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REIMS, FRANCE - French urologist, Dr. Jacques LeStrappe, presented his newest innovation at the recent International Society of Urologists in Geneva, Switzerland that will forever change the landscape of male fertility procedures including vasectomies. Using...
urine foley catheter

After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating.  It is estimated that our nation of 300 million people is...
camera crew for inspections

NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls

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NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to their team’s advantage.  News broke shortly after the Patriots 45-7...
surgery

New England Urologists Being Investigated for Deflated Balls

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BOSTON, MA - According to sources close to GomerBlog, an American Urological Association (AUA) investigation has found that 11 out of 12 balls belonging to male patients on January 18, 2015 were inflated significantly...