Report: Always Room for Jell-O Confirmed
AUSTIN, TX – Researchers at University of Texas, Austin have confirmed there is always room for Jell-O. Press release Dr. Sarah King spoke with reporters confirming a long held but untested belief.
“After a large donation from the Cosby estate, we finally had the resources to study this long held assumption,” said King. “We filled 45 patients’ stomachs full of contrast and then had to confirm with an abdominal series to verify the fullness. Finally each patient walked to the Jell-O station.”
One participant, James Pope, a homeless man, was continuing his Jell-O binge for the third week at press time. The results were astounding and baffled the researchers.
“Where does the Jell-O go? Is there a Jell-O specific pouch that we haven’t seen? Is it fast absorbing? These are further questions our team is looking at.”
The breakthroughs discovered in Austin could revolutionize treatments. More research will be conducted after Mr. Cosby’s death, when a large donation is expected.