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The Psychiatry ward is soooo far away
The Psychiatry ward is soooo far away

JACKSONVILLE, FL – Dr. Karen Turner, chief medical resident at Fallbrook Hospital, led her team on morning rounds yesterday throughout the hospital.  Intern, Dr. Jeremy Hoodings, thought “everything was going as planned” and even remembers it being surprisingly a pleasant rounding experience.

“The morning was going very well: Mr. Jenkins’ fluid balance was perfect, Ms. Tiding’s blood sugar was below 200 for the first time, and our ‘rock’ on the service was being teed up for a skilled nursing facility (SNF).  We were finally making progress,” said Turner.

At press time reporters asked about the psych patient that wasn’t seen.  Dr. Turner responded, “Oh yeah, a late consult yesterday afternoon, that didn’t make it to the list.  I guess we just forgot.”

Dr. Turner was of course talking about a late afternoon medicine consult on a patient who was admitted to the psychiatry ward, four floors away from the rest of the hospital and down a very long hallway.  Gary Clobbersmith was admitted for some anxiety and depression resulting from ommetaphobiaMedicine was consulted yesterday for a rash and management of his 138/82 blood pressure.

Sources close to Dr. Turner say that behind closed doors she claimed “the psych ward was just so far away” and that she “didn’t want [the team’s] mood to be dragged down, so I just ‘forgot’ to round on him.”  Sources also say that the orthopedic consult for Prilosec medical management, may be listed on page two of her list, which she will forget in the printer tomorrow.

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