MEMPHIS, TN – Dr. Slater had a series of unfortunate events Thursday.  While he was sitting on a circular roller chair, Dr. Slater started his history questionnaire.  He typically crosses his legs with his right ankle on his left knee.  This will create a “table” out of his legs to rest the chart on.  He will typically flutter his pen between his index finger and his middle finger in a fast motion, while reviewing the information in the chart.

Dr. Slater was talking with his patient about removal of a large hydrocele in his scrotum.  He began to describe how delicate he had to be because of the vicinity of the hydrocele to the patient’s penis.  Suddenly Dr. Slater’s pen flung from his fingers.  Trying to save the pen in mid air he leaned to the right and flicked the pen up, buying more time.  During the second attempt to grab the pen in mid air, he had to lean further to the right, causing the chair to roll to the left.  This forced him to react and place his right foot on the ground.  Since the chart was being balanced by his right leg, it came crashing down.  Then pen hit his fingers while he attempted a slap-catch and it flew across the room.

As the chart was falling onto the ground, Dr. Slater dropped his head to the right to see if would be able to catch the chart.  It was too late.  Chart hit the floor, the three rings opened, flinging papers everywhere.  After the chart hit the floor his doctor’s chair rolled out from under him and he came crashing to the ground.

The scene was a disaster.  Paper scattered across the floor and Dr. Slater on top of it all.  The final nail in the coffin was the half of the three-ring-binder circle ended up being punctured into his thigh.  When Dr. Slater stood himself up in front of his patient, he noticed the chart stuck to his leg.  He pulled it out and the pain hit.

“I heard him scream,” Nurse Shannon said.  “It was really loud and I never enter the room when he’s in with a patient but I had to check.”  She then went on to describe how she opened the door seeing the patient with eyes the size of baseballs staring at Dr. Slater holding a bloody chart in his hands and a giant blood stain on his right leg and white coat.  “I had to shut the door because I just started laughing.”

“It was a disaster, a train wreck,” Dr. Slater said of the scene.  “How am I supposed to convince this man after witnessing that to have surgery on his scrotum?”  Dr. Slater did attempt to convince the patient to consider surgery but at press time the patient said he “was going to think about it.”

Lord Lockwell
Lord Vincent Lockwell, a medival surgeon, started Gomerblog in 1388. He went for a walk in the alps to get away from the bubonic plague in what is now considered southren Germany when a tragic acident occured. The avalanche did not kill him but froze him for over 500 years. He was thawed and now continues to report on medical news.
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