Trauma Patient with Isolated Stab Wound to Shoulder Can’t Understand Why His $300 Pants Are Being Cut Off in the Trauma Bay

WASHINGTON, DC – A trauma patient at Washington Hospital Center became visibly upset in the trauma bay after his $300 pants were cut off with trauma shears.  25-year-old Julius Matterson was in an altercation with his girlfriend at his apartment yesterday evening.  Allegedly she picked up a table knife and stabbed him in the right shoulder before fleeing away.  Matterson called 911 and was rushed to the hospital for evaluation.

"Damn, there goes my $300 pants"
“Damn, there goes my $300 pants”

On arrival to the trauma bay, Matterson remembers being wheeled into a large bright room with 15-20 personnel standing around in yellow gowns, masks, gloves, and funny hats.  He was completely awake and had not lost any blood given that the stab wound to the shoulder was very superficial.  What Matterson describes next may haunt him for the rest of his life.

“So there I was, being wheeled into this room full of people all wearing these yellow gowns with masks on,” said Matterson. “I said hello to the first lady I saw, but then all of a sudden they bum rushed me, strapped me down, and started cutting my pants off!  What the hell!”

Matterson kept yelling, “She stabbed my right shoulder!” to them, but they just kept cutting and trying to pull off my pants.  Multiple people told me to “Calm down, sir!”  Are you kidding me?  You are cutting my pants off and trying to finger me and you are telling ME to calm down!”

Eventually the team realized that it was an isolated superficial injury and that his pants didn’t need to be cut off.

“Those were some damn expensive pants that they ruined.  Are they going to replace them?  NO.  To add insult to injury they charged me $1700 for the 1-hour encounter too.  I need to get some 4th graders to take care of me next time.”