Anesthetists Go on Strike, Local Hospital Thrown into Turmoil

BOSTON, MA – Chaos ensued in a local hospital early yesterday morning when the whole Anesthesiology department went on a “no-show strike.”

“Hey guys, I think something is missing here!”

“We were prepping and draping the patient, ready to start the case, when we discovered during the timeout that the anesthetists were not around!  Not surprisingly the patient was still awake and was wondering what went wrong.  I’m going to QA pink sheet this for sure!”  SN Maricel providing her account of the early morning fiasco, barely hiding a wide grin at the prospect of raising another QA.

Dr. Silva Flurane, HOD of Anesthesiology from Have Mercy Hospital exasperatingly explained: “We have had enough of the badgering that we face day in and day out!  Patients don’t appreciate us, surgeons treat us like we’re their personal maids.  There was even one time when the surgeon screamed at me for keeping the MAP too high!  What does he know about MAP?!!”

“It’s true.  None of our patients are ever grateful towards us.  All they do is thank the surgeons profusely for the operation.  No one has ever come up to me and said, ‘Thanks for keeping me alive during the surgery’ or ‘You have been an excellent anesthetist.’  All they do is complain instead about us!  ‘Why am I nauseous?’; ‘Why is my throat sore?’; and the worst; ‘Why am I in pain you useless anesthetist!’  I’d had enough,” Peter Ranting stated, an attending anesthesiologist who aspired to be an anesthesiologist from the tender age of 0 when his mother was successfully given epidural anesthesia.

For Clara Icknore, the patient left stranded on the OR table, the amount of displeasure faced was telling.  According to her, she has had multiple operations without a glitch at all.  When asked if she feels more appreciative of anesthetists from now on, she said, “I had no idea there was such a group of providers!  I’ve always assumed my surgeons were in charge of putting me to sleep!”