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Popular Social App Tinder to Launch Hospital Version Called Hinder

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Given the overwhelming success of its popular social discovery app, Tinder founders are excited to announce the development of a new hospital-based site called Hinder.

medical app
“Room 428 has potential, despite the chest tube”

The site, available on Apple, Android, Epic, and Power Chart operating systems, builds user profiles using data already available in medical records.  Basic information including age, weight, room location, NPO status, medical allergies, and insurance status is analyzed.  Compatible candidates are included the data base.

The app, which is an opt-out feature on admission, then allows hospitalized patients to find potential matches during their often long, and fairly uneventful, hospital days.  “We are woken up early for rounds, have a few tests in the morning, and maybe a procedure in the afternoon, but the whole evening is open,” said Henrietta, a 72-year-old diabetic, admitted for hypertensive urgency.  “This app allows me to find a suitable companion, able to visit my room right after I take my blood pressure medications.”

The “swipe” feature, critical to Tinder’s success, will be maintained on the Hinder application.  Users swipe right to “like” candidates, and left to continue searching.  For those recent stroke patients with left-right confusion, the program can be modified to swipe up or down.  And a voice-activated feature is available for those with limitations in hand function.

As with Tinder app, Hinder will integrate with Instagram and Facebook allowing patients to access profiles of potential matches.  This feature provides improved match success as users can peruse pictures of connections’ rashes, bedsores, open wounds, and even “helfies” (hospital selfies).  “Check out the gaping wound on this young man in room 1462,” exclaimed Henrietta.  “He looks like he could use a special touch!”

Critics of the app mainly include infectious disease specialists, who would like the app to include infection precautions, and sort potential candidates by MRSA status.  Proponents of Hinder include hospital administrators who predict a 400% increase in patient satisfaction scores.

If Hinder is successful, expect Tinder to launch another app in 2016 especially for health care providers discretely looking for hook-ups.  It will be called Shhhinder.

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