MADISON, WI – Zoe, oldest child of accomplished pediatric cardiologist Dr. Samantha Lewis, is fed up with her kindergarten classmates using incorrect names for their body parts.
“Zachary said he had to ‘pee in the potty’,” she explains. “But I reminded him that he really needs to voluntarily expel urine from his bladder via his urethra located in his penis.” Unfortunately, she said the kid just looked at her like she had two crania.
Another very disturbing incident occurred when a pregnant mother visited as guest reader. The teacher explained to the children that Henry’s mother has a baby in her belly, but Zoe was quick to set the record straight. “She has a baby in her uterus,” she excitedly shared, “which will eventually come out of her vagina. And hopefully not tear her perineum!”
The teacher has communicated several times with the family, explaining that the child is “totally confusing” the other children, and that her language is “completely inappropriate!” Her mother respectfully disagrees. “There’s nothing ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’ with referring to body parts and bodily functions by the scientifically correct names.”
Dr. Lewis offered to visit the class and teach the children more about their amazing bodies, using standard medical language. But the principal reports they need district review, state congress approval, permission slips signed by both parents, and preview of any presentations, including diagrams shown.
In the meantime, these are the approved and unapproved classroom words:
Private area (must be said in a whisper)
That area (may be accompanied by a discrete point)
Vulva (grounds for immediate expulsion from school)