First Charlie Sheen’s HIV disclosure, then the shocking news of Matt Damon’s EBV positivity.
Now Jenny McCarthy, critically acclaimed star of MTV Spring Break: Panama City Beach
(1996), shares her deepest secret with GomerBlog: she’s coronavirus positive and not hiding in fear any longer.
AGD: Thanks for speaking with me, Jenny.
JMcC: Hey, no problem! I like to volunteer and help the less fortunate about once a month.
AGD: Less fortunate? I’m an accomplished physician, researcher, and contributor to
JMcC: Yeah, but you’re definitely less fortunate in the “hotness” category, poor thing.
AGD: Hmmm, well then…thanks for your generosity! Let’s get started. Tell us about your
JMcC: Well, as you know, I have been pretty shaken up about Charlie’s recent HIV diagnosis.
And then there was Matt’s. So, in addition to my regular testing for sexually transmitted
infections, I asked to be tested for all possible infections. That’s when I learned that I have coronavirus.
AGD: Jenny, please describe your symptoms.
JMcC: Oh it was dreadful. Runny nose, sore throat, cough, low grade fever. I thought it was HIV so I went to the doctor right away. She told me it was just a common cold, but, as usual, she was wrong. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was coronavirus!
AGD: Yes, the coronavirus is a common cause of seasonal upper respiratory infections or
JMcC: And do you know it’s spread through the air and you can catch it just by touching
something like a doorknob? It’s probably the key to understanding autism.
AGD: Ah, shit, Jenny! Now millions of dollars for autism research are going to be diverted away from legitimate studies to refute your new hypothesis!
JMcC: Well, I’m just putting it out there! Putting it everywhere.
AGD: OK, back to the coronavirus infection. Tell us about your partnership with Corona Extra.
JMcC: So all we ever hear about is all the sexual transmitted infections, blah, blah, blah….I
have an obligation to share my story about coronavirus. I’m not ashamed anymore. It wasn’t my fault and I didn’t do anything to deserve it. We need to let people know you can’t get coronavirus by sex, just sharing drinks, holding hands, and kissing. So I’m teaming up with Corona, the official beer of Spring Break, to spread the word: Share Cheers Not Beers.
AGD: Thank you again, friend, for spending time with us, and for making doctors and scientists all around the world weep for humanity.