Top Medical Google Search of 2015: Could my boyfriend have caught gonorrhea from a toilet seat?
Google just released the top Googled topics of 2015 and the most popular searches included celebrities Caitlin Jenner and Lamar Odom, as well as the beloved city of Paris. But what were the top Medical searches of 2015?
The GomerBlog team consulted with Google, and made interns* analyze billions of records to reveal the “Top Medical Searches” of 2015. The list can be divided into three general categories:
1. Stuff I’m too embarrassed to ask my doctor about,
2. Things I’m going to die from,
3. Sh** my doctor told me but I didn’t believe, so I checked Google.
In general, infectious diseases were the clear front-runner, with flu, gonorrhea, measles, and HIV each having a fantastic year. The majority of the searches occurred from mobile devices, with over a third taking place while in the emergency room or waiting room, and another 20% during the doctor’s visit.
The results are summarized below:
Stuff I’m too embarrassed to ask my doctor about
1. Could my boyfriend have caught gonorrhea from a toilet seat?
2. How to treat gonorrhea
3. Will my birth control still work with this medication?
4. Can I get HIV from kissing?
5. Why does it burn while I pee?
6. Can I get pregnant if I have sex while upside down?
7. Is this growth normal?
8. Diaper rash with Depends
9. How to remove (random object) from (random body cavity)
10. What happens if you take too much Viagra?
Things I’m going to die from
1. Is this lump cancer?
2. Is this bump cancer?
3. Is this lumpy bump cancer?
4. I forgot where I put my car keys…do I have Alzheimer’s?
5. Do cellphones cause cancer?
6. I have a sore throat…do I have Ebola?
7. My eyelid is twitching…do I have ALS?
8. Is my headache meningitis? Or a brain tumor? Or a ruptured aneurysm?
9. Left index finger tingling…am I having a stroke?
10. Do I have cyberchondria?
Sh** my doctor told me but I didn’t believe, so I checked Google
1. How to avoid getting the flu without getting the flu shot
2. How to keep my unvaccinated child from getting the measles
3. How to lose weight without eating healthier or working out
4. Best antibiotics for __(insert viral infection)________
5. Do I have gluten sensitivity? No, seriously, I must have gluten intolerance.
6. Symptoms and treatment of chronic Lyme disease
7. Waking up from brain death
8. How to treat pain if allergic to ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and ketorolac
9. Am I having a seizure?
10. Do I need a 23rd opinion for my chronic medical condition?
The hot topics for 2016 are predicted to include new designer drugs of abuse, how to make Dilaudid in my basement, and where can I find some Narcan? Sounds like another fun, and educational, year!
*Don’t worry about the interns. They still had their mandatory afternoon naps followed by milk and cookies.