baby

10 Signs Your “Child” Has Outgrown the Pediatrician

  • 452
    Shares

Much to the dismay of parents, their children eventually outgrow the comforting walls of the pediatrician’s office.  And need to be booted, we mean “gracefully transitioned” to an internist.

baby
“Do primary care physicians have toys and candy too?”

Parents, here are some helpful guidelines to gauge when your precious child is ready:

1. Doesn’t fit on the scale.  That goes up to 400 lb.
2. Looking for the Smoking and Nonsmoking sections in the office, but only sees Well and Sick sides.
3. Brings flask to visit.  Not filled with juice.
4. Your child has children of their own.
5. Feet reach the floor when sitting on the exam table.
6. More piercings and/or tattoos than child’s age.
7. Still in college, but a 10th-year senior.
8. When he is no longer bribed with stickers or lollypops.
9. When she rolls her eyes at two of the following words: boo-boo, ouchie, pee-pee, poo-poo, kiddo, or sweetie.  Or no longer falls for one of the following: got your nose, disappearing thumb, or quarter behind the ear trick.
10. Child’s problem list includes three or more of the following: hypertension, type 2 DM, CAD, COPD, OSA, hypercholesterolemia, shingles, or gout.

With these simple guidelines you’ll be able to make the correct appointment!

image_pdfimage_print
  • Dr. Amy G. Dala

    Dr. Amy G. Dala spends her days trying to save the children from The Google, Jenny McCarthy, and unnecessary head CTs. She works because the alternative—being a stay-at-home mother to her several young tyrants—is much scarier. Follow her @AmyGDalaMD.

  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

70KSharesNEW YORK, NY – Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples ...

nurse olympics

Nurse Olympics: Results

6.2KSharesCHICAGO, IL – The host hospital of this year’s Nurse Olympics, Chicago General, is ...

Hillary Clinton

Hillary Cures Insomnia with Yet Another Boring Speech

1.1KSharesPHILADELPHIA, PA – The woefully uncharismatic Hillary Clinton has cured insomnia in all Americans ...

syphilis brain

Vegan Patient Diagnosed With Organic Brain Disease

404SharesWithin hours of being rushed to the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, 19-year-old Nevaeh Roy-Abraham ...