Pleasantly Demented Woman Drops Cutest Little F-Bombs

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FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – Nursing home resident Ima Dear, 87, suffers from multi-infarct dementia, chronic hypertension, hypercholesterolemia, uncontrolled diabetes, and a proclivity for dropping the cutest little F-bombs.

“She has this amazing ability to light up a room with an F-bomb,” her nurse, Jessica, tells GomerBlog, as she gently wipes stool from Ima’s rectum.  “What the f*ck you doing, sweetie?” Ima yells.  “See what I mean?  Absolutely adorable!”

During a recent elementary school visit, Ima and her fellow nursing home residents enjoyed children singing cheery songs while impressionable young minds learned how f*cking adorable they looked.  First grader, Alex, reports, “Wow!  I always thought old people were so boring, but our visit was f*cking great!”

Ima Dear’s son remembers his mother when he was growing up as a pensive, prudish woman without much tolerance for fun.  He is pleased to see this positive change in her demeanor and attitude.  “She was such a dud before her dementia,” he reminisces.  “Now, she’s the f*cking life of the f*cking party!”

  • Dr. Amy G. Dala

    Dr. Amy G. Dala spends her days trying to save the children from The Google, Jenny McCarthy, and unnecessary head CTs. She works because the alternative—being a stay-at-home mother to her several young tyrants—is much scarier. Follow her @AmyGDalaMD.

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