July vs. June Interns

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july june

Fresh July Intern Seasoned June Intern
Cautiously orders incorrect medication. Confidently orders incorrect medication.
Glowing tan. Translucent.
Smiles and waves. Smirks and gives middle finger.
Turns nose up at hospital coffee. Drinks two pots of coffee by noon.
Call bag packed with deodorant, hair brush, tooth brush, fresh socks, change of clothes. Call bag packed with hard liquor.
White coat contains: iPhone, note cards, pens, specialty pocket guide, highlighter, a few dollars, otoscope/ophthalmoscope, reflex hammer, alcohol swabs, vision chart, bandages, and trauma scissors. White coat contains: iPhone, graham crackers, condoms.
Hides in supply closet to cry. Weeps openly.
Excited about shiny new pager. Knows pager has been retrieved from toilet twice, dropped in 3 body cavities, and still makes her cringe every time it goes off.
Runs away from code, but gets lost in the stairwell. Runs away from code, knows where to hide.
Can’t open Epic. Copies and pastes progress notes in 3 seconds flat.
Discreetly asks nurse what to do for patient, takes credit. Praises nurse for saving his behind. Again.
Anxiously calls consults, provides no useful information. Proudly calls consults, provides no useful information.
Questions choice of becoming a doctor. Questions humanity.

 

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  • Dr. Amy G. Dala

    Dr. Amy G. Dala spends her days trying to save the children from The Google, Jenny McCarthy, and unnecessary head CTs. She works because the alternative—being a stay-at-home mother to her several young tyrants—is much scarier. Follow her @AmyGDalaMD.

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