doctor recommendation

ERAS Letter of Recommendation [And What We Really Think]

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doctor recommendation
It’s that time of year for ERAS applications and medical student recommendations.  Let GomerBlog break it down for you by reviewing a typical letter.  (Spoiler: It’s not good!)

September 2016

RE: shit, what was her name?

AAMC ID: 8675309

Dear Program Director [sucker!]:

It is my great pleasure to provide a letter of support for Audrey Apple (AAMC ID: 8675309) an applicant for Internal Medicine [she really wanted to match in dermatology, but doesn’t have the grades and scores].  She has waived her right to see this letter [so she won’t commit suicide].

I met Audrey [Hmmm, I have NO IDEA when I met her, and I can’t tell med students apart] during her fourth year of medical school when she rotated at GomerBlog Hospital.  As her attending on a busy [medical student got in the way, no time to teach] inpatient service rotation, I worked with her closely on a daily basis [she followed me around like an annoying shadow].

Audrey’s curriculum vitae highlights her impressive research experience [lab nerd with no ability to interact with actual people] and extracurricular activities [I call “Bullshit!”  No one likes fly fishing].  But does not do justice to her enthusiasm [annoyed the hell out of everyone with her nonstop, ridiculous questions] and wonderful bedside manner [I once caught her punching an old man in the crotch].  She was assigned to care for one the most challenging patients I have ever cared for [I’m a genius and the best doctor ever], and she handled it like a seasoned resident [she was as incompetent as my sorry residents].  The families clearly identified her as “their doctor” [they called her “nurse”], she took ownership of her patients [stabbing her classmates in the back, and taking all the best cases], and read about [Googled] their conditions extensively.

Audrey will be an outstanding internist [as long as she doesn’t touch a patient], and I endorse her without reservation [except as above].  She is at the top 10% of the medical students I have worked with [which isn’t saying much because a monkey could pass at her med school], and will be at the top of the field compared with other applicants in your program [because your program never fills].  Please feel free to contact me with any questions [if you take her in your program, no take backs!].

Sincerely,

Amy G. Dala, MD

Attending physician [started in July and still on probation]
GomerBlog University [couldn’t get a job at a real hospital]

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