Trump Offers Med Students Golden Opportunity as Seat-Fillers for Inauguration

  • 493
    Shares

WASHINGTON, DC – As fourth-year medical students consumed with residency interviews and Match Day are now officially useless, Trump offers them a golden opportunity to witness history as seat-fillers for his upcoming Presidential Inauguration. And earn some extra much-needed cash.

med students trump inauguration
Wow, this is huge! We are so glad to be here, and were not at all paid to say so!

Rumors from fake media sources, including CNN and NPR, claim the Trump inauguration is struggling to find enough participants to fill the West Lawn. Or a small community ER. So he has publicly reached out to Twitter to encourage attendance, and privately extended offers to discrete groups of individuals, exchanging payment for their presence. He chose medical students because of their excellent ability to sleep with their eyes open and appear to be attentively listening, their desperation for cash, and their ability to abandon a clinical rotation at a moment’s notice for “an interview.”

Medical student, and Krebs cycle extraordinaire, Karen Weaselsnout-Jones jumped at the opportunity to attend Donald Trump’s inauguration. “I can’t wait to tell him all about the Krebs cycle!” She was one of the only 2nd year medical students invited, a ploy by her Democratic program director to bore Trump to death.

Trump has promised to pay the students after their obligation is completed to his satisfaction. With the average medical student accruing 650 thousand dollars in student loans, and the average starting salary of an attending academic physician 65 thousand per year, Trump’s payments should go a long way. If, and when, the students finally receive them.

image_pdfimage_print
  • Show Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

comment *

  • name *

  • email *

  • website *

You May Also Like

pilot cleared landing doctor hospital

Doctor Asks If There’s a Pilot Aboard This Hospital

1.4KSharesNEW YORK, NY – In a moment of inspiration after he forced herself to ...

confused patient

Patient Still Concerned About Getting Sick from the Flu Shot

518SharesMADISON, WI – Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered ...

So Sad: Charcoal Inactivated, Made DNR

351SharesBIRMINGHAM, AL – Telling a palliative care team that it lived a long and ...

palliative care goals of the fight

Palliative Care Stops McGregor in 10th to Discuss Goals of the Fight

2.3KSharesLAS VEGAS, NV – The smallish crowd of 14,623 at T-Mobile Arena wasn’t surprised ...

The FDA, or Federal Dating Authority, Has Established a New System for Online Dating

103Shares Testing of potential suitors is an exhausting, expensive and occasionally toxic procedure. The ...