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Da Vinci, Megatron, Optimus Prime
“Da Vinci, don’t listen to Megatron!!!”

CYBERTRON – In unsettling news today, Da Vinci continues to pursue his dastardly ways by joining forces with the Decepticons.  Citing neglect on behalf on medical providers, Da Vinci has decided he has had enough with the human race and hopes the Decepticons can help find something useful for him to do, even if it’s only a lap appy.  However, sources close to Megatron state that the Decepticon leader is starting to lose patience with that “bumbling Da Vinci” and suddenly finds Starscream “way more tolerable, useful.”  In fact, Megatron finds Da Vinci “worse than [Optimus] Prime or any other of the Autobots” and may soon dispose of him shortly, which would be a win for healthcare and humanity as a whole.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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