HERSHEY, PA – Noted cross-species psychiatrist, Dr. Caitlyn Cadbury, broke through a very challenging case this week, discovering the etiology of Chocolate Bunny’s severe depression: he’s hollow inside. After months of failing conventional therapies, such as guided imagery, escalating doses of Jelly Bellies, and even electroconvulsive therapy while Bunny cradled in plastic molds, Cadbury had a breakthrough.
“Chocolate Bunny was rambling on and on about his recurrent nightmares of being attacked by a giant set of teeth when I snuck into my desk to grab a handful of M&Ms. That’s when I saw, buried at the bottom of my desk drawer completely untouched, something shiny. It was my med school stethoscope! On a nostalgic whim, I picked up the stethoscope, quickly googled how to use it, and listened to Mr. Bunny,” Cadbury tells the GomerBlog team. “And I couldn’t hear any heart sounds.”
Invigorated by being a real doctor again, Cadbury proceeded to try and listen for bowel sounds, and percuss the liver span. That’s when it occurred to her that Chocolate Bunny was indeed hollow inside.
An often overlooked medical condition, being empty inside occurs across all species and socioeconomic backgrounds. The condition is reversible by careful filling with either caramel nougat or the pricier pure milk chocolate; sometimes insurance will only cover the former.
At press time, Chocolate Bunny expressed his gratitude toward his amazing psychiatrist, Dr. Cadbury, blissfully unaware that she plans to violate every ethical standard in the world, devouring Bunny once he gets filled.