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PHILADELPHIA, PA – In a classic July intern move that would make Scrubs‘ Dr. Elliot Reid proud, intern Timothy Wilcox accidentally insulted a woman by asking her “When’s the baby due?” even though she wasn’t pregnant.  Dr. Muhammed Loza of Podiatry & Dr. Erin Whitlock of ENT are coordinating their efforts to emergently and surgically remove Wilcox’s foot from his own mouth.

foot mouth
This photo was taken seconds before his oral cavity was stuffed with his own lower distal appendage

“His foot is so far down his throat that his ankle is abutting his lips while his size 10-shoe has nearly obliterated his airway,” Whitlock, an ENT who specializes in self-induced intern foot-in-mouth disease, told Gomerblog with a sense of haste.  She’s worried about the untied shoelace tickling Wilcox’s epiglottis.  “We had to toss in a nasal trumpet to preserve some semblance of an airway.”

Wilcox has put into his foot into his mouth on a near hourly basis since starting as an intern at Philadelphia Medical Center.  However, he has been able to remove his foot medically.  This is the first time he’s faced a major complication.

“These are several reasons why this needs to be done and done quickly, one of which is that if Wilcox accidentally starts chewing that’s a set up for a bad foot infection,” explained Loza, also adding that this makes it very difficult to ambulate while putting an amazing amount of stress on the muscle and ligaments of the flexed leg.  “Unless you’re an Olympic gymnast, this position is absolutely not sustainable.”

When asked if he was worried about the upcoming surgery and if he would miss any days at work, Wilcox simply responded, “HRMMPHHH… NNDMMMUUURPHHLLLL… MYNHHAAHHHHH…”

Though this is a big ask, Loza and Whitlock are hopeful they can get the job done.  “Obviously, we’d like to avoid a face or foot amputation,” explained Loza, “but like we always do with interns in this position, we have to take it on a case-by-case basis.  In the event we succeed, we tell them all the same thing in post-op: For the love of God, watch your mouth!”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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