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The Emergency Room with Wolf Blitzer
“You’re now in the Emergency Room”

ATLANTA, GA – “Happening now, we want to welcome our viewers in the United States and around the world.  I’m Wolf Blitzer, and you’re in the Emergency Room.”  Blitzer is moving on from The Situation Room, and foraying into a show dedicated solely to health care.

“We love the show’s opener.  In fact, we’re thinking about playing it to every patient who enters our ER,” said Grady Memorial Hospital emergency medicine physician Joel Brookings.  “‘I’m Wolf Blitzer, you’re septic, and you’re in the Emergency Room!‘” Brookings say mimicking Blitzer’s voice.  “Wouldn’t that be awesome?!”

For fans of Wolf, don’t worry, he will still continue his trademark “resolutely humorless” style, though it is unclear if he can maintain it during several minutes of grueling chest compressions.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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