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KOREAN PENINSULA – In a display of unity, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has agreed to change his country’s menstrual periods so that they are back in sync with South Korea.  The change will take effect on May 5.

Ever since 2015, North Korean PMS (Pyongyang menstrual syndrome) has taken place exactly 30 minutes before South Korean PMS (PyeongChang menstrual syndrome).  But according to Kim, the time is now right thanks to productive discussions with the South Korean leader: North Korean menstruation will be pushed forward 30 minutes to perfectly coordinate with both South Korea and Japan.

The two leaders plan to meet on May 4 to sign the Panmunjom Declaration for Peace, Periods and Menstrual Unification of the Korean Peninsula.  Exactly one week ago today, the two agreed to move towards peace with the goal of ending both the armistice and Korean War.

South Korean President Moon Jae-in has acknowledged this move with a symbolic gesture of his own.  Not only are they taking down loudspeakers that blasted pop music across the border into North Korea, they are sending ENT specialists and psychiatrists to help restore the otological damage and PTSD, respectively, that can be caused by sustained exposure to K-pop.

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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