Desperate Pediatrician Offers Trick-Or-Treaters Full-Sized Candy Bars for Flu Shots

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OAK PARK, IL – Exhausted of high flu vaccine refusal rates, and higher number of indignant parents, Dr. Veronica Vacks decided to start a grassroots effort to improve flu vaccine rates in her community. This year, trick-or-treaters will be offered the unique opportunity to receive a flu vaccination in exchange for a full-sized candy bar.

Halloween
This won’t hurt a bit, kids!

Dr. Vacks tells GomerBlog, “Every year I see babies and children critically ill, hospitalized with complications of influenza. So every year I vow to work harder to vaccinate my patients and families. Yet every year I’m confronted with the harsh reality that parents don’t really give a sh*t. So this year I’m bypassing the parents and going straight to the children. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby, and giving it to the children, in exchange for a shot.”

Opponents of the program, from the local chapter of Individual Nurturers for Safe and Natural Effects (INSANE), site concerns about the safety of non gluten-free, non-organic, GMO-filled full-sized candy bars and the effects on the children’s vulnerable nervous system and brain. Oh, and don’t get them started on the safety of the vaccines.

The program, called “Vax for Treats,” will be offered the afternoon and evening of Halloween, until supplies run out or the health department shuts her down. If successful, she hopes to offer a similar program in her community for teenagers, handing out free condoms in exchange for HPV vaccination.

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  • Dr. Amy G. Dala

    Dr. Amy G. Dala spends her days trying to save the children from The Google, Jenny McCarthy, and unnecessary head CTs. She works because the alternative—being a stay-at-home mother to her several young tyrants—is much scarier. Follow her @AmyGDalaMD.

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