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BOSTON, MA – Clearly shooting for the highest grade possible on his internal medicine rotation, self-proclaimed third-year gunner med student Grayson McGravy told the two medicine interns on his team to go home this morning because “I got this.”

Each intern was carrying 8 patients, leaving the total load of 16 patients to fall upon the confident McGravy.  “Piece o’ cake,” he told Gomerblog.  “That just means 16 patients to learn from, spend time with, take care of, and read about.  I can’t wait to get started.”

“I mean, that’s a fine line to straddle between confidence and cockiness, enthusiasm and bravado, passion and stupidity,” said the third-year medicine resident on the team, Jacob Jaded-Jones.  “He actually tried to send me home too.  I almost did.”  He paused for a long, intense second.  “Yeah, no, it’s better I’m here.”

It should be noted that this is only McGravy’s second day on service.  It is also his first rotation as a third-year medical student.

So what does the attending on the team, Dr. Joy Franks, think about her gunner med student and his take-charge attitude?

“Well,” she answered with a smile, “first thing’s first, let’s just say I’m grateful my resident decided to stay on for the day.  As for Grayson, I could spot his edematous brown nose from ten miles away.  In fact, it is so far up my butt that it’s tickling my appendix.  Good thing there’s a tasty little antidote: humble pie.”

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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