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FORT MYERS, FL – In breaking news here at Gomerblog, a herd of orthopods has just been spotted in aisle 9 of Home Depot. The sight is breathtaking. It appears the orthopods have likely been lured there by the presence of numerous species of hammers, air tools, and wrenches. It is unclear how long they will remain here as a “great migration” is expected at any moment to the land of power tools in aisle 7.

aisle 9 home depot
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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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