Anesthesia Accepts Blame for Everything Wrong in Universe, Life As We Know It
SCHAUMBURG, IL - In breaking news just in to Gomerblog today, the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has formally announced it will finally accept blame for everything that is wrong with life, the world, and the...
Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water...
BACKGROUND: The superiority of Lactated Ringer’s solution (LR) or normal saline (NS) in fluid resuscitation in a variety of medical and surgical scenarios remains the most hotly debated irrelevant topic in modern medicine. For...
Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors
MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday. 84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room while undergoing an abdominal aneurysm repair.
“Blood started pouring out everywhere,”...
Sick of Scrub Machine Malfunctions Resident Gets Scrubs Tattooed on Body
CALIFORNIA CITY, CA - Jonathan Marconi, an anesthesia resident at the world-famous University of California at University of California (UCUC) Medical Center, had become more and more frustrated by the scrub situation at his...
Local Man Regrets Reading Robin Cook’s Coma Right Before Surgery
**SPOILER ALERT: Reader beware! This post may reveal key plot details of Coma, a novel that has been out for a mere 42 years. We sincerely apologize for the much-too-soon spoilers.
BOSTON, MA—As operating room...
Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan
MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of King Stefan and Queen Leah - was given 0.4 mg...
New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen
CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product. PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those on mechanical ventilation, CPAP, BiPAP, or any oxygen delivery device...
Anesthesiologist Correctly Identifies Anatomic Structure During Surgery
SPRINGVILLE, VA – Local part-time anesthesiologist and full-time crossword puzzle enthusiast Arnold Preston, M.D. shocked the entire operating suite today when he correctly identified an anatomic structure during surgery.
“Well, I don’t really know what...
Breaking: Anesthesiologist Suffers Life-Threatening Sudoku Withdrawal
NORFOLK, VA - Beloved anesthesiologist and master of puppets Dr. Thomas Kingston is currently undergoing treatment in the ICU after he presented with seizures secondary to presumed sudoku withdrawal.
"Dr. Kingston is intubated but thankfully responsive...
Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid
NEW YORK, NY - With patients treating hospitals like an a la carte restaurant or 5-star luxury hotel, hospital leaders at New York Medical Center (NYMC), at the unanimous urging of health care providers,...
