Saturday, April 20, 2024

Local Man Really Enjoyed Solar Eclipse

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ATLANTA, GA – It was a scene filled with excitement this morning as millions of people from all over the country ventured outside to observe the 2017 solar eclipse. Perhaps nobody enjoyed it more than local...
doctor and patient

Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian

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ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient?  Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.  A recent eye-opening poll held on the world-renowned medical website Facebook found...
thunderstorm

Patient Demands Nurse Change The Weather

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BALTIMORE, MD - Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day: her appendix had ruptured, her hospital gown was unflattering, and she was assigned to a hospital room with a drab view of the...
pot of coffee

Huge-A** Pot of Coffee More Effective Than Bowel Prep for Colonoscopy

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ATLANTA, GA - The American Gastroenterological Association (AGA) has told Gomerblog that drinking a huge-a** pot of coffee is officially the bowel prep of choice prior to colonoscopy, dethroning polyethylene glycol and other related compounds. "The one...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

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NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may change, thanks to the work of a team of pediatricians...

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why British dance-pop group Right Said Fred are so sexy it...

Cinnabon Creates New Insulin Rolls: Insulinabons

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SEATTLE, WA - American purveyor of cinnamon rolls and diabetes, Cinnabon has announced a new tactic to combat the obesity epidemic, not by changing its recipe but by offering free insulin rolls instead.  Cinnabon...
used speculum tongue depressor

CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors

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ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued...

New York Outlaws MRSA

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ALBANY, NY - New York legislators recently passed a new law that outlaws MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staph aureus) in the state of New York.  This new law will make it illegal for one to have MRSA...

Dilaumed: Look-Alike Sound-Alike Medication Praised by ER Physicians and Nurses Everywhere

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new medication that has been deliberately named to be a classic look-alike sound-alike drug, has been welcomed with arms wide open among emergency medicine physicians and nurses. "We typically have to...