Thursday, April 25, 2024
medicine resident

Tired Medicine Resident Writes 1 Progress Note About 15 Patients

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BALTIMORE, MD - A third-year medicine resident at Johns Hopkins University, Geno Smulison, completely exhausted from a busy inpatient teaching service this month and struggling to stay afloat with two interns off today, decided...
bowtie

Study: Wearing Bow Ties Makes You Better Than Your Colleagues

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BOSTON, MA - A study published in the latest issue of the New England Journal of Fashion finds that health care professionals who wear bow ties, from the moment they put it on, become...
blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood this past week.  Officials have concluded that someone mistakenly added...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new drum kit, something that he's been dreaming of getting for...
gloves glove

Out of Mediums, Brave Nurse Grabs Small Gloves & Throws Caution to the Wind

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RALEIGH, NC - It's one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical career: The box of latex gloves in your size is...

Patient Literally Sweats His Balls Off

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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Patient Don Fernando arrived to Mercy Hospital's ER with a chief complaint of "I'm sweating my balls off!"  Don was passed over for hours with many assuming he was just pulling a practical joke.  The triage nurse...
orthopedic surgery

Breaking News: Orthopedic Surgeon Completes 1000th Surgery with EBL of 50 cc

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NEW YORK, NY - GomerBlog is ecstatic to bring you breaking news out of OR 7 today at University Medical Center.  Dr. Stewart Shoemyer, a prominent orthopedic surgeon who specializes in total joints, completed...
Super Bowl party AMA Dilaudid

What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply isn't enough, thousands of guests in the Atlanta area have...
oxidative phosphorylation

Med Student Yammering About Oxidative Phosphorylation, Kill Us Now

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LAS VEGAS, NV - Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) medical student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones continues to cement her legacy as the most annoying gunner of all-time, this time by choosing to give her...
ejection fraction EF 100%

Perfect Score! Patient Has Ejection Fraction of 100%

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SAVANNAH, GA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, patient Edward Jacobs has just aced his cardiac exam, the transthoracic echocardiogram specifically, becoming the first patient in history to achieve of a perfect ejection fraction...