Thursday, March 28, 2024

Emergency Medicine

Dr. Nim Sure That ‘All Patients Are Just Faking It’

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Dr. Suda Nim, known for his lack of insight and compassion, states that most patient's pain is "just in their head." Known for years by co-workers as "Numb-Nim," by his inability to understand anything from the...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...
chest anatomy

Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First

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CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.”  When the EKG tech obtained the print out, she rushed it...
lawn mower

Local Man Loses Arm in Lawnmower Accident, ‘Why Can’t My Arm Be Made of...

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WITCHITA, KS – Kevin O’Neil had an unfortunate accident yesterday where he lost his right arm.  “I was reaching into the mower to clear some grass that clogged the mower.”  Kevin told reporters before...
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical care he received on Christmas morning. “Absolutely trashed,” proclaimed Applewood in...
er medical charts

Med Student Rotating in ER Always Seems to Pick Up a Chart Requiring a...

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DETROIT, MI - Third-year medical student Ronny Wilkerson can’t believe the number of pelvic exams that he is performing on his clinical rotation in the ER. As in many ERs, the patient’s charts are placed...
malpractice attorney

Malpractice Attorney Says Nightly Prayer for More Medical Errors, Deaths

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MEMPHIS, TN - Mark Edmunds, JD, a local medical malpractice attorney, is proud to be a caring father, a giving person, and a devout Christian.  He attends services regularly, sings in his church choir, and prays...
bacon flavored tube

Bacon-Laced Gastric Lavage Tubes a Big Hit for Patients

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LAS VEGAS, NV – Maker of orogastric, nasogastric, and gastric lavage tubes, Medical Stuff, unveiled a new product line last week that is predicted to be a big hit for patients, especially on New Year's...
Paramedics

Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again

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NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift.  One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in austere and dynamic environments and racing the patient to the hospital...

Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients

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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year.  This year was diplopia.  People were loving it.  The people who weren’t falling down were absolutely loving it.” Nurse Marlenas, who works at Nofun...