Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...
Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar
BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that anyone who claims to understand acid-base...
Move Over Nephritic & Nephrotic, Researchers Discover 3 More Renal Syndromes: NephrAtic, NephrEtic, and...
WASHINGTON, DC—Medical students everywhere have reportedly finally mastered the differences between nephritic and nephrotic syndromes, but just as they were preparing to ace their Renal exams, the American Society of Nephrology (ASN) dropped a...
Nephrologist Sets Patients’ Dry Weight Goal at 0 Kg
HOUSTON, TX - Adding to his reputation of aggressively managing volume status, nephrologist Albert Kalosis has announced that his new goal dry weight for his end-stage renal disease (ESRD) patients is zero...
New Intern Hands Attending Cup of Urine on Rounds
CHICAGO, IL – New medical Intern, Dr. Alexa Friedrich, disappeared after presenting a patient to her attending physician. She has been desperately trying to impress her attending. The group thought it was odd she...
IM Doc Goes on Fishing Trip, Plans to Get Rheum on Board
CHARLESTON, SC - Local Internal Medicine physician Randy Kitts was headed out on a fishing trip Saturday when he realized before he set course he should "probably get Rheum on board."
"Well, the waters are...
Racehorse Confirms He’s Peeing Like a Human on Lasix
LOUISVILLE, KY - A 4-year-old thoroughbred and racehorse named I's & O's has confirmed with Gomerblog that he is not only peeing but peeing profusely, like a human on Lasix (furosemide).
"No question, I'm urinating...
Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are:
Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a horrible life. Let's be honest, you got yourself into this.
...
Skeleton Started on IV Fluids, Was Bone Dry
ST. LOUIS, MO - Dr. Shaw just admitted a difficult case at Washington University. "I just admitted this bag of bones literally 2 hours ago," hospitalist Dr. Shaw told reporters. "Something just spoke to...
With First Date Going Badly, ICU Fellow Tries Albumin
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With his date clearly not enjoying herself and losing interest in him at a rapid rate, local ICU fellow Dr. Jeff Riggs quickly sprung into action and administered 500 cc...
